Life in Prison

I work at the prison. For the most part it is pretty boring and your basic job of same stuff, different day. The exception to this rule is Tuesdays. Every Tuesday inmates parole. We get to see all the cute little families come and pick up there significant other and take the required 'the day i got out of prison' picutres (you think i am kidding). These are the scrapbooking moments we all want to share right?

Today however we got a treat. A black limo showed up to pick up an inmate. We were laughing slightly at this, then came the great part- the women getting out of the limo was a rather large women, had on a black mini skirt, thigh high silver boots, and a black fedora. More laughter followed her exit from the limo, and more employess of clinical services came into the pharmacy to get a better look at her. Out comes the inmate and they get into the limo and very slowly leave the prison.

Then comes the best part.... a couple of hours later the limo comes back! Same women exits the limo without the hat and looking not quite as put together as before, and picks up a second inmate!

Needless to say we have been giggling all day!

Utah Barbie

So I found this on a friends blog, and it was pretty funny so thought I would pass it on, no offense intended. (also since i havent' blogged in forever)

If Mattel were to tailor a new line of Barbies for the Utah market they'd look something like this.

Park City Barbie: She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a million dollar home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

'Draper Barbie'The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

'Ogden Barbie'This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop; then we don't know what you are talking about.

'Sandy Barbie'This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

'Spanish Fork Barbie'This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick Mullet-Haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

'Scipio Barbie'This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gutted Ken out of Spanish Fork Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

'Moab Barbie'This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two MoabBarbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
'West Valley Barbie'This Barbie now comes with a stroller and 2 infant dolls. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. White boy Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
'Provo / BYU Barbie'She's perfect in every way, mainly due to the high levels of antidepressants in her system. We don't know where Ken is because he's always at church meetings
Hope you had a laugh, I sure did!